Not Safe For May

Can we please talk about this awful site that has tempted my paycheck multiple times a month almost once a month?

JewelMint is the first of many e-commerce sites owned by BeachMint. Since its launch, there are now other mints to satisfy your materialistc cravings–StyleMint, ShoeMint, and the one I don’t particularly care for, BeautyMint. I’m not even going to link to it. Each “Mint” teams up celebrities and experts to create an exclusive collection of pretty things. In this case, pretty jewelry designed by Kate Bosworth and her cool friend (I really wish Mary-Kate & Ashley were the ones calling the shots here). You fill out an initial style profile and based on your answers, they fill your showroom with personalized picks they think you will be most likely to drop $30+/month on. If you don’t like anything they have to offer for that month, you have the option to “Skip The Month” and your poor sweet bank account will not be charged.

I think I failed the quiz or something because my showroom is always full of bold, contemporary pieces that I would probably never wear unless I wanted to feel like I lived in Botswana every day. The good thing is that there is always a “Show Me More” option, where they hide the most precious goodies. This is how I’ve come to purchase three items, with two more on the horizon.

The first piece I bought was the Aqua Bomb Ring.


The one that started it all.

Look at it. How can you not want it? Well, I couldn’t not. So I bought it. I shelled out $29.99 that one month because I hadn’t seen anything like it before. I mean come on, $30 is a lot to spend on something that accidentally gets washed after you go to the bathroom. And just when I was about to cancel my account, they came out with this:


Are you kidding me?

The Bow Tie Bracelet. If that isn’t the cutest, daintiest, most Lauren Conrad-inspired piece of jewelry, then I don’t know what is. I had to have it. So I do now. And it’s perfect for tiny child-like wrists! As if these two $30/piece blows weren’t enough, THIS HAPPENED:


NO.

YES. The Blanc Bomb Ring, everything you loved about the Aqua Bomb, now perfect for all your GOLD-TONED OUTFITS. UGH. So JewelMint has successfully sucked $90 out of me. And I’m not even finished. When I find the perfect coupon code, I want to get these babies:


Forever Audrey Earrings & Lady Luck Rings

It doesn’t help that their customer service is uber-fantastic. Any time I’ve had an issue with billing or shipping, a chipper young girl who I imagine is dressed like an American Eagle model, calls me and comes to my rescue. They’re pretty good about listening to their fans on Facebook, too. I’m not going to lie, I don’t know what’s going to happen between my bank account and JewelMint in the future. I have yet to make any other Mint purchases because I think MKA design shirts that only look good on the tall & lanky and Rachel Bilson only designs shoes for the elderly night club scene. Jessica Simpson is just ugh. But as long as Kate Bosworth keeps making me think, “oooooh, I’ve never seen anything like that before… I should get it!” then we will probably have one of those abusive domestic relationships where he hits me but gives me pretty things to make up for it. That’s how those work, right?

P.S. I’m a size 5-6 in rings and as stated above, have the wrists of a six year-old.

Edit: It looks like new members can save 50% off their first JM piece using the coupon codes SEATTLE72, SEATTLE 775, or MINT. You guys know my sizes. Let me know if you need my address. Thanks, Jesse!

Edit again:


DAMMIT.

Mayette

Mayette Villanueva is a California-based natural beauty & style blogger.

2 Comments

  1. Reply

    Jesse Smith

    January 25, 2012

    Love the post! I saw online that code SEATTLE72 gives new members 50% OFF their first jewelmint piece! That’s always a nice tid bit to add so readers can save on their first piece! 🙂

    • Reply

      mayette

      January 25, 2012

      Thanks for the heads up, Jesse! Updating the post 🙂

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