Not Safe For May

So I’m not Armenian or recently divorced, but I am 5’2″ and obsessed with nail polish. I recently went through two awful manicures within a week, became deeply depressed, created a Google doc of nail polish colors I wanted (to determine what store had it for the cheapest), and easily spent $60 on nail polish. The point of that sad visual I just painted for you is that I am totes in love with Nicole by OPI’s Kardashian Kolors, it’s not even punny. And I say “punny” because all of the color names are terrible puns like “Rainbow in the S-Kylie” or “Kim-Pletely In Love.” Cringe-worthy names aside, they have some really pretty colors. I currently have “Strike A Pose” (a bright summer-appropriate poppy red) on my toes, but it’s about two weeks old so I’m not going to show you what that looks like.

I recently caved and downloaded Instagram, so. There’s that. Last night I decided to live-gram (? correction needed) the process. I call it Nude, White, and Blue.

Start off with clean nails. Remove any dirt or oils with nail polish remover. File down your nails to your desired shape (but please not like talons), and buff/polish/shine to your heart’s content.

I want to take a quick moment to talk about how much I love my glass nail file. I got it at Sephora for $9 almost a year ago, and have never turned back. I’ve stopped clipping my nails because those scary things bend the nail and make it weaker and more prone to breakage. Now I file my nails down every week. I’ve noticed a significant decrease in breakage and chipping. I highly recommend investing in one of these guys! It makes it possible for me to rock a square-shaped nail.

Apply your favorite base coat. I used CND’s Stickey Base Coat. I got it during my depression spree, and prefer it to Essie’s 3-Way Glaze, which I was using before the depression. I like it a lot. Polish seems to last longer since I’ve started using it. Next, I layed on 4 koats of Kim Konfidential. I could have gotten away with 3, but I have shaky hands and wanted ~perfection~. I would advise waiting at least 5 minutes in between each coat. This ensures the polish is dry; if you try to layer on wet polish on top of wet polish, things get messy and ugly and all of your ex-boyfriends call you names.

This is the worst part: waiting. Once you’ve finished your third or fourth coat, wait for it to completely dry. A whole day would be ideal, but I’m impatient and I’ve been wanting to do this manicure since I got these polishes this weekend. I waited half an hour. I battled some CSI-looking fingerprints, but that’s the price you pay for Kardashian. So, once your polish is dry, it’s time to bust out the scotch tape!

I personally find the clear glossy tape the easiest to work with. It’s transparent, so you can see what’s going on (if any bleeding is happening underneath, which a matte tape would mask). This next step is VERY IMPORTANT: Make sure to stick your piece of tape onto your hand or arm first, to weaken the adhesive. You don’t want it too sticky or it will ruin your hard work. Once you’ve done that, position the tape diagonally across your nail, having the tape cover the bottom half. You want the accent color on top. Make sure it’s taught and there aren’t any air bubbles.

I then used 2 coats of Essie Blanc on the top diagonal half. I worked on one hand at a time, so I did thumb, ring finger, thumb, ring finger, thumb, ring finger–PEEL. You want to peel the tape while the polish is still wet. Some people recommend waiting until it’s totally dry; I used to do that and I find that peeling while wet produces a cleaner, straighter line.

You can easily stop here and have a totes adorbs mani. But I took it one step further, because that’s how I was told to live my life. Once the Blanc has completely dried (I waited about 20 minutes and cruised Spotify), place another piece of tape about half a centimeter above your first diagonal halfsie. This obviously doesn’t have to be perfect. Obviously.

Here I used 3 thick coats of Nothing Kim-Pares To Blue, and again, peeled the tape while it was still wet. Top with your favorite top coat; I love Seche Vite Dry Fast Top Coat.

Clean up around your nailbeds so you don’t look like a hot mess and you’re all set! Super chic nails, fit for a Kardashian. All you need is a bitchin’ center part. I don’t know what I’m saying.

And here’s a picture of these babies holding a bacon cheeseburger:

Hope you guys are inspired to kreate your own kreations!


Mayette Villanueva is a California-based natural beauty & style blogger.


  1. Reply


    April 18, 2012

    Looks great! Your nails (the shape, length) are gorgeous.

    • Reply


      April 18, 2012

      Thank you so much! Checked out your blog, I love it!

  2. Reply


    April 25, 2012

    If I still lived there I would make you my own little personal nail stylist. I cannot even explain to you how janky of a job I do on my nails. Yours LOOK CUTE THOUGH 🙂

    • Reply


      April 26, 2012

      I would absolutely be your little personal nail stylist. My first design for you: On each nail, the letters “T-O-G-O-S”… Y/Y?

  3. Reply

    Maryam Maquillage

    April 30, 2012

    Your nail shape is soooo nice and feminine :))) Lovely manicure too!!

    • Reply


      April 30, 2012

      Thank you Maryam! 🙂