I don’t know if you’ve ever seen “Predator” or not, but it was one of the movies I agreed to watch with Ian when we first started dating so he would think I was cool (also: the entire “Alien” franchise). There’s a scene in the movie where Arnold Schwarzenegger’s character covers himself in mud to avoid being detected by Predator (awesome cameraman burp at 0:46, by the way). You see, Predator has heat vision. It locates its targets via thermal imaging. The mud that Arnold used was supposedly colder than 98.6° F, and helped to mask his own heat signature.
All this got me thinking: this Modesto fella had the right idea, but poor execution. He was found in a shed, which leads me to believe that he covered himself in either spray paint or some other utility paint. Yeah, he had the dark of night on his side, but he didn’t stand a chance against heat detection! Plus you guys, that’s like, really bad for your skin.